Relationship Conflict - LifeWorks
Relationship ConflictBy Keith Swan, LifeWorks Consultant
Resolving conflict in Relationships through better communication - this includes any relationship: marriage, family, friends, neighbours, or work.
Our relationships can fall into conflict from time to time. This can happen to any of our relationships: marriage, family, friends, neighbours, or work.
The conflict often revolves around 'needs not being met'. The thoughts and feelings created by our needs not being met can lead to conflict, because we deal with the situation (our method of communication), in a confrontational way, rather than say what we actually need.
So in order to help promote conflict resolution in our relationships, we need to look at the method of communication of our needs. Is it confrontational?
For example: Do we demand? Do we blame or compare? Do we deny responsibility? Do we feel we 'have a right', and therefore punish if our needs are not met?
If so, instead of using language that helps clarify our needs, we somehow manage to miscommunicate these needs by using language that aims to coerce, or induce guilt, shame, or fear, in others, in order to get our needs met'.
Simply, the clarity of our 'real needs' has been lost.
There is another way:
Non-violent Communication (NVC) - pioneered by Marshall Rosenberg
The aim of Non-violent (Compassionate) communication is to bring the attention back towards the needs, feelings and perceptions to enable a way forward acceptable for all parties, through clear understanding, honesty and empathy.
Its aims are to clarify our real needs, via clear communication.
NVC will question:
Do we say what we need? How do we say what we need? Are our methods clear? Are they clearly stating what we need? If we do say what we need, are we being totally honest? Are we (ourselves) actually aware of what we need? Are we aware of the understanding of others?
Here at Lifeworks we have many trained personnel to help you in resolving such issues, so don't struggle with communication, give us a call.
A full version of this article is available here:
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